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CORE Bites Issue #86
(August 4, 2020)
When I'm asked "How long have you been married"? my response is always "Not long enough!" While you might think I'm just being glib ... not so fast. This week marks our 30th wedding anniversary and, in many ways, I feel like we're just getting started. I guess the fact that I've found my soul mate, my best friend, and my life partner all in one person makes me a pretty lucky individual.
When you consider that our initial meeting came as a result of a bizarre set of circumstances, this milestone becomes even more significant. True story ... I was invited by a very good friend to be a 'stand-in' for a blind date who didn't show up for a dinner he and his wife had planned with Jessica as the honored guest. As a result, I was the fortunate one who got to meet this amazing person instead of the person originally planned. (His loss; my gain; big grin.) [Thank you Mark Evanylo for the invite that forever changed my life!]
As I think about it, one of the key ingredients to our long-term success is when we got married Jessica and I decided that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions. And, in 30 years of marriage, there's yet to be a big decision. Curious ...
On a more serious note (and putting aside all the celebratory activities for a moment), I'd like to spend a few minutes in this week's CORE Bites reflecting on a number of leadership lessons I've learned from being married. Not all of these lessons were easy to learn. But, they've made me a better leader nonetheless. In case you're wondering how this works, let me remind you the strength of a marriage is all about the relationship—so it makes sense that any lessons learned about approaches and practices that enhance a relationship will easily translate into the relationships we have as leaders at work.
Marriage requires a deep and unwavering commitment through the unexpected—through the "good and the bad"—and so does leading a business or leading a team. Commitment (in addition to the HVAs listed below) must remain the driving force. Lead strong!
People follow visions that move them toward something of value beyond what they can see today. People won't buy-in if the vision is no bigger than your personality. This week (starting today) spend some time reflecting on the qualities and values you bring as a leader. Here are a few HVAs (my lessons learned from marriage) to stimulate that reflective time:
I'd love to hear how these HVAs work for you!
Neil Dempster, PhD, MBA
RESULTant™ and Behavioral Engineer
"Leaders live by choice, not by accident."
— Mark Gorman —